Now, for a little personal background, I am morbidly obese. I mean, I am fairly active and like to exercise and it’s not like I’m bedridden or have a hard time walking, but I am only 5’8’’ and over 300lbs. My obesity isn’t something I’ll get into here (except for its affect on my sex life) but suffice it to say that I do not blame anyone or anything but myself and I take full responsibility for being such a fat ass.
As a result, either from being so physically disgusting or my own lack of confidence and insecurities, I found myself a virgin at age 27. Now, I know every guy here has dozens of women just begging to fuck them, so it may not be easy to relate to how I felt. But basically I felt really shitty. Ashamed, lonely, self-loathing, worthless, frustrated, etc. I do not blame women for not wanting to fuck me, and I don’t expect anything or think that anyone “owes” me anything. But it is very demoralizing to be denied physical intimacy for so long. It’s like a part of what makes us human and validates us as a person has been completely absent from my life.
Sex should not be taboo. Sex is not dirty, or shameful. The only difference between prostitution and any other exploitative industry is the element of sex and physical intimacy. Yes, women are exploited in a way- obviously, a woman who lacks money or social status is using sex to earn money. This is economic exploitation, which exploits the considerable income gap. However, there are so many industries that rely on exactly this same gap. One easy to understand example is your smartphone- the components of which were mined by poor people (who would undoubtedly love to be doing something else) and was assembled by poor people (who have miserable lives in factories). What’s the difference? The element of sex. If sex is not dirty, then there is no more of a moral dilemma with prostitution than there is with buying a smartphone. One could argue that both are wrong and neither one should be encouraged- this may be true, so I will take heed from such arguments when the speaker stops all exploitation themselves and stops using their smartphone and stops buying anything manufactured or produced by poor people.
I learned the truth about STD’s for the first time. I won’t go into details since it’s been discussed to death in this thread; let’s just say that my opinions changed. I also realized that sex with regular women was no guarantee of safety.
Very importantly, I followed the links that were posted and found myself at The Rational Male. Holy shitballs batman, what a paradigm shifter. It wasn’t about prostitution per say, but everything I had observed and experienced with regards to women started to make a lot more sense. I started to realize that there is no such thing as “not paying for it” and that all sex is transactional. I started to see the hidden costs of “normal” relationships, and looking at my friends who were “successful” with women made me realize the very high price (in money, time, and self-respect) they were paying for access to pussy. Things like gold-digging and divorce-rape (both of which are extremely common) clearly demonstrate that a woman doesn’t have to work in a Thai brothel to trade her pussy for money.
This left me with one last problem: my ego. I shouldn’t have to pay women to fuck me! This one just went away with time. At a certain point, being a guy who is so fat that no one wants to fuck him was so damaging to my self esteem that I had no ego left to bruise. I tried and tried to lose weight, and always ended up just as fat (and lonely) as ever. I was left with no self-respect to speak of. I realized that for myself, I actually do have to pay women to fuck me. I was ACTUALLY unfuckable. Coming to terms with that was painful, but it is better to see the hard truth than be comforted by the persistent lies I was telling myself (one day I will lose the weight, someone will love me for who I am, if I become funny/ smart/ kind/ thoughtful enough I can earn intimacy from a woman).
The whole process of reading Rollo Tomassi and shifting of my paradigm took several years. Eventually, I found myself holding an entirely different set of beliefs regarding everything involving men and women (including prostitution). And when the last nail was driven into the coffin of my ego at 27 years of age, I finally decided that I was tired of being a virgin and that I would do something about it.
I live in SoCal, so I decided that my best bet would be to head down to Tijuana. Some research indicated that the Hong Kong strip club would be a good place to meet some lovely women and lose my virginity. I am pretty anxious by nature and averse to risk, so it sounded sketchy at first. As a sidenote- I have a good friend who I linked to this thread when I first started reading it, and eventually he agreed to be my wingman. We also got some cialis just in case.
Eventually, we mustered the courage and drove down to the border, parked the car in a lot, and crossed by foot into Mexico. We got into a taxi and had the driver take us straight to Hong Kong.
Hong Kong stripclub: http://www.hktijuana.com/
We checked into our room, which was a penthouse suite in the hotel that sits on top of the stripclub.
Hotel Cascadas Penthouse Suite: http://hotelcascadas.com/rooms/penthouse-suite-room-2
When I had reserved the room, I had emailed them and negotiated a discount ($300/ night for Penthouse 1). Mind you this was for Friday and Saturday, which are a little more expensive. When we checked in, they gave us a free upgrade to the Penthouse Suite 2 since they had double booked the other Penthouse. So it cost us $150 each per night and we each got our own room.
The way this place normally works is, you don’t need to be staying at the hotel. You usually go down to the stripclub (which was amazing by the way) and if a girl catches your eye, you negotiate prices with her (standard rate is $80/ 30 min, and usually only includes one nut). Then you take her upstairs, and rent a small room for the 30 min. (not sure how much this costs, I think it’s pretty cheap).
However, I didn’t want to do it this way. First of all, I was very worried that I would come quickly (which I did) and I wanted a longer session where I would get to nut twice. Secondly, I wanted to have the comfort of being in my own room. I didn’t want some guy to come knocking on the door telling me time is up, and I was hoping to shower with her first.
Anyways, we get there and it is awesome. Awesome room, very clean and comfortable. Awesome club, TONS of women. Beautiful women, especially if you like latinas with a nice ass. Right off the bat, there is a tall blonde, all natural, with big nipples dancing on the stage. My buddy and I walk around the club, and return to find that the girl is gone to some other corner. We get some drinks and start scoping out who looks hot. I want the blonde, but can’t see her. Several women approach us, and we turn them away. Eventually my buddy gets up to look for the one that had caught my eye, and he finds her and brings her over. Her English isn’t great, but I ask her for a lapdance. I think I paid $20 for two songs, and she had her top off and I was sucking on her big nipples. Song ends, but I am ready to go. I ask her for 1 hour, and she quotes me $140. I agree, and we go up to my room.
Now, I am a bit of a germ freak. I’m still worried about STD’s (but not like I used to be) but I don’t want to risk anything. I am also completely inexperienced. I never kissed any of these women on the mouth. When we get to my room, she is impressed that I have my own room and I don’t think she’d ever seen the Penthouse Suite. I ask if she wants to shower with me, and she is happy to. We shower and then she gives me a blowjob with condom on. It was my first blowjob, and it was delightful. I looked down and couldn’t believe that such an attractive woman (extremely hot body) was sucking my dick. I came in about 40 seconds. Lucky for me, I had plenty of time on the clock and lots of condoms. So I put on a new one, still rock hard, and she blew me some more, and then we fucked. Cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, doggy, missionary. I found it to be kind of difficult, actually, because of how fat I am. A lot of positions were awkward because of my fat, but she was great about positioning herself for the best possible result. I was too much in my head, but I would stop and just be amazed that this was actually happening. We fucked for about 40 minutes, and then she sucked me to completion. We showered and I gave her a big tip and walked her downstairs back to the club where my friend was waiting. First experience: 10/10
Over the course of the next two days, I fucked a total of 5 women. Some of them were unenthusiastic and just trying to get me to come as fast as possible so they could get on their way. Some were great, and I enjoyed fucking one in the shower, the bed, and the bubble bath I prepared in the hot tub. I had put some beers in the mini fridge, so we drank beers in the hot tub while I recovered my strength, and then started all over again. Sunday morning we packed our shit, took a taxi to the border, and returned to our car. I was in a twilight zone. Three days ago, I had never been naked with a woman. Now I had fucked five women, each one hotter than I ever imagined I would be with. By some miracle of life, I had been able to watch a beautiful young woman twerking on my dick. A woman who I would have been scared to even talk to, let alone hook up with. I felt like I had discovered cheat codes for life!
After losing my virginity, I was pretty happy. I went about six months before the desire to go back down there became too strong to ignore. However, my friend had a girlfriend and would not be joining me. That means that I would need the courage to make the trip solo. Last week, that is exactly what I did. This time, I reserved a Master Suite for two nights.
Right off the bat, I found a gorgeous young woman who agreed to 1 hour for $110 (it was Monday, so prices were lower). She blew me and we went to the hot tub. After a while, we went to the bed for sex. This time around, I was MUCH more relaxed. I also lasted alot longer, and I was able to get out of my head and really enjoy the experience. She had started licking my shaft without a condom and I stopped her to put one on (I probably shouldn’t have, but I’m still scared of STD’s and I don’t want to become accustomed to no-condom blowjobs, since I already enjoy covered blowjobs just fine and most of them won’t do it without a condom). Anyways, after fucking her she invited me to take off the condom and come all over her tits, which I happily did.
So, things had gotten off to a great start. I didn’t think things could get any better, but they did. Later that night, I took a gorgeous blonde with an amazing body (named Barbie) up to my room for an hour ($140). She took her time and gave me great head, and we sat in the hot tub drinking beers. She starts talking to me about how important it is to be positive and encouraging me not to let my weight hold me back. What is this Dr. Phil? We are so relaxed, almost the whole hour has passed. When we get to the bed, she starts massaging me. And this is a legit massage- she does my arms and legs and feet and hands. It was such a surreal experience, having this gorgeous woman naked in my bed, massaging me. We have sex, and it is the best sex I’ve ever had. I prefer just laying back and having the woman ride me, and that’s exactly what she did, in several different positions. I just propped up my head with some pillows and let her go at it. She definitely knew what she was doing, and it was a beautiful experience. By the time we shower, it has been well over two hours. And she never once mentioned the time or money. That is exactly the type of relaxed session I enjoy, so I gave her a very big tip.
The next day, I had sex with two more women. Then, late that night, I hit the club for the last time. I run into Barbie, and sit with her and a beer. She starts massaging my scalp while I rub her ass and breasts. A lot of beautiful women all around. One in particular stands out- a tall, beautiful brunette with an ass that is literally as nice as any other I’ve seen. I wave her over and get her a drink. She only slightly knows Barbie, but they get along fine, and she is very sweet. I invite her up for an hour and she agrees. I walk out of the club with my arms each wrapped around a beautiful babe, as I’m leaving a nearby table of guys give me a cheer and applause haha.
I take the girls up and have the greatest experience of my life. I cannot describe the feeling of fulfilling a fantasy with such attractive women. I am the biggest loser that I know, and yet I would not trade positions with ANY of my friends who have girlfriends. There is something about having two bombshells taking turns riding me that has permanently altered my mindset. And the ladies were super cool and friendly, just dedicated to making it a great memory for me. First threesome: 10/10
The next day I returned to the border, balls and wallet both utterly drained. That was a week ago, but I cannot for the life of me stop smiling. I have this stupid silly grin on my face. I can’t get over how blessed I am, and how happy I am to be a man alive today. It is a beautiful life.
I had to overcome quite a bit of cultural programming before I took the plunge. I had to realize that there was nothing wrong with me wanting to have sex; men’s sexual desires are nothing to be ashamed of. I had to learn that most prostitutes do it out of choice for financial gain. Yes, it is a dirty job, but it sure beats cleaning septic tanks or working in a mineshaft, and the women I interacted with made a relatively excellent income, were not under threat of violence, and were free to pick and choose their clients and refuse service (as it should be). I had to learn that I wasn’t going to contract a deadly disease from sex, especially since I was using condoms.
I try not to abdicate any responsibility for my life, so I do not blame cultural programming. Yes, culture misled me, but in the end it is up to each man to create the life he wants and to learn the truth about the world for himself. This is a heavy burden of responsibility, bUT it is also incredibly liberating aND empowering. There are 2 lies that culture instilled me, which I have been able to expose as lies and have led me to the truth. The first is: if I keep knocking on doors, eventually I will find a woman who can look past my obesity and love me for the man I am inside. WRONG- Attraction is biological and non-negotiable. I cannot convince a girl who is disgusted by me to eventually fall in love with me by demonstrating “good” qualities and trying to earn her comfort and trust. If I wanted to have sex, I was going to have to either become physically attractive or pay for it. I tried to do the first many times, to no avail. I tried the second, and was rewarded by having sex with ten beautiful women, including a threesome where two bombshells took turns riding me. The second lie was: abundant sex, scores of beautiful women, threesomes, etc are impossible for the average man to acquire and reserved only for rockstars and billionaires. WRONG: I am well below average, and I realize now that the only thing stopping most men from achieving their sexual fantasies is a female-primary programming which requires men to set aside their desires for the benefit of women’s optimal reproductive strategy. In other words; have a little courage, and willingness to step outside what is culturally sanctioned, and you will gain access to a world of such abundance you will have to pinch yourself to make sure it’s not a dream. As a fat loser virgin who only dared to hope for having an average-looking girlfriend, only to experience nights that put my wildest fantasies to shame, I can attest to this firsthand.